[rapid gunfire] (man) The experience of being deployed never left me.

It wasn't because I was under this intense combat experience-- but it was an experience-- I think that's always going to be a part of you.

[rapid gunfire] We left with 70, we came back with 70.

The hard part was losing them afterward.

[piano plays softly] (male narrator) Controversial, long, and fought against elusive enemies, The early 21st-century wars in Iraq and Afghanistan have defined an entire generation of Americans, particularly the heroic soldiers who served in them.

And the wars shown a bright and necessary light on an equally dangerous enemy-- PTSD and mental health among veterans.

[piano plays in a minor key] ♪ ♪ ♪ [roar of the jet engine] America is not at war.

The American military is at war, America is at the mall.

War is not a family TV show.

War is not something you sit back and watch.

It's an ugly, ugly thing.

Two bands, two groups, two countries trying to prove who's bigger, stronger.

(Kristi Stites) Coming home, for example, from the deployment, finding themselves without a sense of purpose, maybe falling into substance use, or addiction of some sort, and maybe losing, maybe a divorce-- all of those kinds of things In Minnesota we have about 100 deaths by suicide in our veteran population each year.

That trend has been increasing over the last 20 years.

It's really an epidemic, and it's a tragedy.

I mean, one death by suicide of a veteran or any citizen in Minnesota is not okay.

I am the Veteran Suicide Prevention Coordinator in MDVA for the state of Minnesota.

Our program has been in existence since 2019.

We really connect all of the efforts in the state of Minnesota for veteran suicide prevention, and we have a lot of different programs and initiatives that we work on.

There's 22 vets that are taking their lives every single day.

And you don't hear about it unless it's a buddy of yours.

Mental health is a big deal for us.

A lot folks that are taking their lives, generally males, certain age categories-- a lot of them haven't even deployed.

So to say it's deployment isn't necessarily the right thing to look at it that way.

I think today's youth have different challenges related to mental health, to help me manage stress, and personalize, and I think it's a larger societal problem.

I don't think it's a military problem by itself.

But it's important to look at ourselves, because this is our community, we care about the veteran community.

What is is?

It's a number of different things.

We're spending more energy at looking about what are the indicators that lead to suicide and try to understand what those things are so we can get ahead of it verses being reactive.

I think it's really important to address mental health, but I also think it's equally as important to do it In a way that is beneficial for the veteran.

I say that because you throw it down the throat of therapy, there's a lot of people-- I don't want anything to do with that.

But just have the conversation.

(Sgt.

Alex Bollman) We had some suicides after we came home, those deaths, they weren't combat, but they were combat related.

Two people can go through the very same experience in the military and have a very different response.

Part of that is really upbringing, resilience, coping, leadership-- all of those things play a role.

(Curtice Allen Cannon) Curtis Allen Cannon served 26 years in the Army National Guard, and I retired the major 04.

I'm in the army I didn't feel it until about 6 months.

I remember the day, I was at a football game in Menahga, Minnesota, enjoying the Friday night lights had a severe panic attack.

Don't know what triggered it, just thought I was having a coronary.

So we went to the hospital, and from that day started seeking counseling and trying to control these panics-- medications-- which I'm still on today, not as much.

I used to pop them like Skittles.

Events and concerts and Walmart-- I can hardly stand it.

I don't know my surroundings.

I think sometimes the civilian life is too much.

We have bills; we have problems.

You've got to make money to pay that, we have a job.

Over-- deployed, you had a mission, that's what you did.

Your clothes could be done for you, and your meals were cooked for you.

Michael Monfrooe, I was in the Army from 1969 to 1989.

I was a Spec 4 in Vietnam.

Eventually we came back to the states-- what am I going to do?

In the middle of the night I would get our daughter up out of bed and put her up in a chair while I would move furniture in the living room; I would do the entire room.

It was so common; we joke about it now, but it was really weird, and my doctor it's not really that uncommon with vets to do that.

I discussed they-- I don't want them to be lost like I was.

And I know what they're going to go through, and the war that they're going through, ours was different than World War II, World War II was different than one.

All wars have one thing in common-- they don't accomplish a damn thing except people dying.

The 2003 war was a completely different animal.

This was a war that from the beginning was designed to remove the Iraqi regime.

The September 11th attacks were clearly the central factor in the decision to go to war.

The Bush administration believed that that the Taliban regime in Afghanistan was complicit in those attacks because the Taliban had allowed Afghanistan to serve as a safe haven for Al Qaeda.

It allowed for terrorist training camps on its soil.

(Major Curt Cannon) There was a lot of foreign fighters in Iraq.

Al Qaeda were tremendous fighters, they knew how to fight, the fighting was more intense.

Obviously the desert, so you're dealing with the heat.

Afghanistan, you're dealing with the Taliban.

This wasn't their first rodeo.

They fought the British, the Russians, now us.

So there were like 5 and 6 generations that knew how to fight (Major Curt Cannon) Stress every day; every minute you have to be on your toes.

I take this, for example, we were in a town doing security patrols, handing out candy and chips to these young kids, and all things good, and the next day we roll in the same town and a 9-year-old has a pistol staring at the end of the barrel, one of our troops.

You can't predict within minutes they're going to turn on you.

You roll very, very slowly and your eyes, 360 on a swivel we call them.

Adam Gilbertson, native of Fosston Minnesota, and then I spent a total of about 8 years on active duty and in the Minnesota Guard.

The unit I was in was in Bemidji, Alexandria, and Detroit Lakes Minnesota.

We mobilized and went to Iraq in 2006.

I always had a pretty strong desire to serve the country.

Leaving active duty, headed to this unit I was fairly confident that we weren't going to be going to Iraq.

My planning wasn't very good!

Early on it's a little nerve-racking.

We had some territory that was really kinetic-- you better be on guard, and then we had these other small villages that were relatively quiet.

And that creates a real challenge for a combat unit.

We like to talk about it and as we remember it, it was months of quiet and sometimes boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.

(Alex Bollman) The last 10 yards of American foreign policy is borne by infantrymen.

My name is Alex Bollman, I was a Sergeant in the Army and deployed with the Minnesota National Guard I was in the Guard from 2005 to 2011, and I remember talking to Sergeant Bakkila, Jim Bakkila.

He just chuckled, and he said, "You're going to Iraq."

And I said oh, they had mentioned that was a possibility but not for maybe a year or so.

And he said "No man, you're leaving in 2 months."

I felt like it was my opportunity to do something, and a little bit nervous, a little bit scared because you're going in a place where, completely different country, completely different setup.

Sarah Merritt, and I served from 2002 to 2014 in the Army National Guard.

We were a transportation company under a main support battalion under the 42nd Infantry Division.

Our mission on a regular basis was to just load up these trucks and bring stuff from point A to B and survive.

My job was the weapons, making sure they were clean, making sure that they were functional and all that stuff.

I don't know if it was a job that I necessarily was wanting, but I really enjoyed doing it because I had my own arms room, I had my own way of doing things, my own system.

I did feel like it was a very important job.

Any of those weapons went out and they malfunctioned I would've felt like that was on me.

It's like a really really messed up fraternity.

Pretty much all male, pretty much all under 30 heavily type A, all adrenaline junkies.

There's a unique kind of person that signs up for that.

They chose to suffer.

[piano plays softly] During that time, it's really heavy with IEDs.

Our unit hit a lot of IEDs.

(Capt.

Adam Gilbertson) An IED, the initials are improvised explosive device.

They're kind of taking what you can find in the combat zone and using them.

As they got more sophisticated with IEDs, they could actually point them so that the projectile and the force would be directional.

They become more deadly that way.

The unit that I was involved in, two soldiers were killed in action while we were over there.

In both cases the soldiers were out on patrol.

The first was in August of 2006, and they were out patrolling.

It was on the interstate between Ramadi and Fallujah.

We obviously got the call of one of the Bradleys had hit an IED.

A number of soldiers were injured in that attack.

One of the soldiers in that process was killed in action.

As a platoon leader, a company commander, probably the greatest weight you carry is that responsibility.

It's your plan and your mission that they're out working on, And to have something like that happen, there's a tremendous amount of first sadness and some fear.

We're feeling this loss in the combat zone of someone we're working with every day, and we experienced it in real time.

The family doesn't really know what happened other than the worst has happened.

It is incredibly hard and exhausting and also incredibly rewarding to feel that camaraderie again [with emotion] and take the time to remember, remember these incredible heroes in the process.

So hard to still, to think about.

It was on a convoy, and we've got some small arms fire, which, the direction when we get small arms fire-- just blow through, we just keep on going.

The only time we stop is if there is a casualty.

I think it really kind of awakened us to the reality of this is war-- this isn't just mission, we literally could die out here.

(Sgt.

Alex Bollman) Adjusting was difficult for me; it was really difficult.

Took me probably 15 years to really come home.

I didn't really feel grounded.

I was just kind of unsettled, and I was sitting at home in our apartment one day.

A buddy called me and said, hey can you be in Afghanistan in a couple of weeks?

That was July 7th or 8th.

Then I was on a plane to Afghanistan July 19, 2011.

I keep it vague just due to some operational details, but we did security and intelligence work.

A lot of it remains classified, especially with some of the operational details.

The Afghan government wasn't our friend.

There was a lot of bribery, a lot of backstabbing.

We essentially had to lie to them to get into their country to help.

As we left Iraq, I felt very good about where the current security situation was, where it was heading, the fact that the Iraqis were standing up.

We saw it firsthand.

We saw the security situation improve.

As the leader of the unit one of our responsibilities as we reintegrated was to be focused on that, so you're focused on others, you're focused on making sure they get through the process, they've got the support they need.

And you think you're fine.

For the leaders, as we came home we didn't quite finish until you're really out of that reintegration process.

And so it took me a little time to be honest with you.

I remember I came back in August, and in November my wife and I moved to Montana into a new job.

And it was a new role and a young officer just coming out of a war, and I remember thinking to myself, yeah, I know that this is a little stressful, but nobody's shooting at us-- right?

How bad can it be?

(Sarah Merritt) I got home, I actually moved in with my mom in the very beginning.

It was just kind of the plan all along.

And she was growing concerned because I was up all night and sleeping all day.

And she made a couple of comments that I was different, that I had changed.

I went to a veteran therapist who said it's probably PTSD related.

So then I kind of started down that road of like, okay, well, let's try to fix and figure this out.

What ended up really pulling me out of depression or anxiety or just the life that I was living, I think it was my faith.

I think my faith grew really strong.

I didn't come home to a drinking problem, it developed over the years.

That was a big part of it for me, and I know that's been a big part for a lot of guys is adjusting the relationship with alcohol.

I got sober in 2020, that helped considerably.

Mentally, yeah I'm doing great with 3 sons, the girl I married 5 weeks before I went to Iraq.

I have a 16 year old, a 12 year old, and a 10 year old.

I've been very fortunate, not only to have made it without any physical injury, I've been very fortunate to have been able to thrive.

I think a large part of that is service in combat.

John Dalziel, service with the Marine Corps, went to Beirut, then Iraq was between 2007 and 2008, and then Afghanistan middle of 2007, then 2010, 2014, 2015.

I joined the Marine Corps right out of high school.

We were assigned to the Beirut International Airport.

We were tasked with intercepts of the Druze, those factions that were targeting us.

From August 29th to October 23rd there was a serious uptick in us getting shelled, then us returning fire, being engaged with them, all leading up to October 23rd.

That morning was a Sunday morning just like any other Sunday morning.

I actually went into the BLT to talk to a friend, wake him up.

Then I walked out, walked about 150 yards to where our building was, where our office was, walked through the door, and then Bam!

[loud explosion] The explosion blows everything off the wall.

Me and two other guys were in our building, threw us up against the wall.

It was something that I still-- through smell, sound,-- you relive it, you are back there.

There is survivor guilt-- why me and not them?

I was in the building 15 minutes before it blew up.

Why didn't I get to come home on my shield instead of trying to put these things back together and deal with stress.

I deployed because I wanted to come home on my shield.

When I've talked to a therapist about it, she asked have you ever contemplated suicide?

I have not, I have been to some dark places, but at no point have I ever put a gun in my mouth.

But volunteering to do 7 deployments-- 3 to Iraq, 4 to Afghanistan is the same thing-- that's what I wanted to do.

I'm thinking about the guys that I was with.

Talking about it helps me, talking to other guys and talking to my wife.

Opening up, talking to the boys about what I went through.

It is therapeutic to me.

Yes, we're broke, there's no two ways about it.

You can hide it, but it's not going to change the fact.

You've see things, you've done things that most people can't comprehend-- taking the fight to the enemy.

I try to tell people, find somebody you can talk to, find somebody that you can open up to, that you can trust.

(Tony Baker) Yeah, you may have to seek help.

You might have to ask your buddy for help, but you are still your biggest advocate, and you still have got to take care of yourself.

Anthony Carter Baker, I go by Tony.

I went into the Navy right out of high school.

I got out of there after a 2- year enlistment as an airman.

You've got to want to help yourself as well, you've got to be diligent and aware.

I'm a firm believer that if you go through basic training, go through combat, you can be aware of these situations.

I am blessed to be in a role as a County Veterans Service Representative where I can help my fellow veterans get the services that they have earned and deserved.

They end up in our office and for that I am forever blessed that I get to help some of these veterans.

And after you've gone through everything and after they tell you your story, and then they're finally heard and believed by the VA, and they're getting compensated, it changes their life.

They call you crying, and they send you letters saying thank you, I'm thankful that I was able to defend my country, and I'm thankful that maybe I got to keep somebody else home.

I will forever have pride for serving my country no matter where politics takes it.

I'm thankful for my job that I can continue helping people today because that makes them a better them; they get listened to they get heard.

We'll go in this first door here.

(Major Curt Cannon) As a VSO for Clay County, I have 4000 vets to take care and advocate for.

It's the most rewarding job I've had, and continue my service, quite frankly.

26 years under contract, and now I continue to serve veterans and help them.

Every soldier, every veteran has a different scenario.

We have to listen and see which avenue we take, and that's from appointment to appointment-- switch gears.

Eduardo Suarez, still serving, 35 years.

A little bit of active duty in the front end and mostly, now in the Minnesota National Guard.

I oversee several different areas with the Minnesota National Guard-- our public relations team, government relations.

We have the Minnesota Department of Veterans Affairs as well is one of our key partners.

I oversee our Diversity Inclusion Program as well as a new director that oversees kind of the resiliency and holistic wellness organization, and within that is Yellow Ribbon as well-- all things that touch the community externally-- it has a communication aspect to it.

I felt that Minnesota was really ready to bring us back home.

I would say since '07 I'm really proud of what the state does.

I think the way that we acknowledge military service in the state's really good, how we honor and take care of our veterans is really good, I feel fortunate that as a service member still serving that I'm in the state of Minnesota because I think we do it better than most.

My name is Melinda Broden, but everybody has called me Mindy.

I served for 3-1/2 years.

The highest rank I achieved was an E-4 which is a specialist.

in the United States Army.

Now I am in a position to be able to give back.

I will be honest with you, it's the most rewarding experience of my life, and I think one of the biggest parts for my is that I can connect in a way and understand in a way, although nobody ever understands somebody else's experience 100%.

I think it causes people to be able to open up in a different way knowing that they're understood and they're heard.

I ended up really developing an addiction, and then it turned into drinking more alcohol as well.

So for me there was a lot of challenges I would say during that time.

It wasn't related to being deployed, it was just related to a lot of different things that had accumulated over time.

When I got back out of the service, I came back to this area here in Bagley, and I started going to AA meetings, I started chairing AA meetings, I started working in the jails with another gentleman doing AA meetings for females that were incarcerated, and in the interim I decided I'm going back to school to use my GI Bill and all of those things.

And I took my first psychology course.

And I just lit up with passion.

It does seem that veterans are a little more open to therapy with a veteran, and I've had several on my caseload that I think it's been incredibly beneficial because I can speak their language, and I can empathize, and I can understand, and they don't feel like they are going to break me.

I have a nickname at work, they call me "The Velvet Hammer" because it's like you're smooth but effective, because I am very blunt.

They joke around and say I use trucker speak to connect with people but can use all the intelligent words as well I just-- be very genuine and very real, and that I think connects more than anything.

I can definitively say that the struggles and the suffering that I have endured has made me strong.

So my goal in life is just to give people hope.

(Kristi Stites) We do a lot of different things with a team of two and then we hold in other programs and departments to our MDVA and with other stakeholders in the state.

A big part of what we do is really develop relationships, identify organizations that are working in different areas for promoting mental wellness, Lethal Means Safety, asking the question in non-VA health care systems.

Really our goal is to work deeper into communities, to bring awareness, language response for people, empower citizens throughout the state to be a part of suicide prevention, because suicide prevention is everybody's business.

We had a speaker where he said that he was looking for ways on Google to end his life, and he ended up calling his friend, and his friend ended up suggesting that they go together.

He went with him to get help, and that was 30 years ago-- and saved his life.

(Corporal John Dalziel) And it's okay to be not okay.

When people are struggling, you have to put down the gun and pick up the phone, dial 988, dial a buddy.

(Kristi Stites) If someone is in crisis or if you think they might be in crisis, you can recommend the 988 number, then press 1 for the veteran specific help.

Suicide prevention is everyone's business.

We all play a part, and this work in preventing suicide is not complicated.

It's simple, but it's just not easy.

You don't have to have all the answers; we can't have all the answers, but knowing that someone is seen, that we see them, and that we care-- that can go a long way Most people who make this decision are doing it because they care about the country.

Certainly there are some practical considerations around education, but in this day and age with the history we've had over the last 20 years, you don't raise your hand to do this without fully understanding the potential impact of what can happen.

(Major Curt Cannon) I'm sure people hate my guts for decisions I had to make.

But however it be-- they don't call me, they don't do that, they don't reach out-- I can sleep at night knowing they came home.

How we got there was rough road, but they are home with their families.

(Sarah Merritt) What I do think is worth fighting for is our freedom.

and our liberty.

I don't know as the wars in Iraq were necessarily that, but I will defend to my last breath that this country is worth fighting for and the freedoms that we have.

(Mindy Broden) Life is funny, right?

It hits us out of nowhere and bad stuff happens, and things kind of blindside you, but at the end of the day I think it shapes us.

It helps us to become who I think we were supposed to be.

[piano & orchestra play in bright rhythm & tone] (woman) Funded by... the Minnesota Arts and Cultural Heritage Fund with money from the vote of the people of Minnesota on November 4th 2008 and by the members of Prairie Public.