finally tonight two New Jersey residents are the stars of a new Hulu documentary that's raising awareness about the next Frontier in marriage equality Patrice the movie tells the story of Patrice jedar and Gary Wickham a loving couple who also happen to be disabled they desperately want to get married but doing so or even just living together would mean losing their disability benefits the very Lifeline that enables them to survive it's a beautifully told story that gets at the heart of one of the many injustices people with disabilities face in our society and now they're speaking out I spoke with the director Ted passan and the star herself Patrice Patrice and Ted it's it's really an honor to get to talk to you both this film is so incredibly beautifully told Patrice you meet the love of your life Gary um you really Chronicle what it takes for you to get your home your job to find this love and then you're not able to get legally married why be because the way the laws are written and I get um Social Security and Medicaid and Medicare that if I were to get legally married my benefits would be cut and I'm already struggling having to live on a fixed income even though I work two jobs I'm restricted from the amount of money that I'm allowed to make and now I meet the love of my life and we want to like spend the rest of our lives together and you get hit with another burden if you lose your benefits because I wouldn't be able to afford my medicines or anything it's a very fragile way to live um I mean not only can you not get married you also can't even live together right or let it appear like you live together right because they can still um consider it like under like holding out and they could still cut your benefits and yeah what I love Ted about the way this documentary shines through and Patrice obviously this is a testament to you um that you tell this story still with this positive spirit and Ted you went to Really Great Lengths to make sure that you shed light on the fact that we're living in a system in an infrastructure that is uh has barriers and uh is not created with disabled folks in mind why was it so important for you to film this documentary in that way and to tell patrice's story uh yeah that's 100% true um this the system we live in it was not set up for disabled people and and um and telling the story was just crucial because 25% of our country is disabled and so there's a lot of people who are just left out of our system the way it's set up and you know that we told the story the way we did with the tone that we did primarily because of Patrice and just following her lead you know Patrice has a tendency to you know she'll be able to tell you a story about something that could be really dark or difficult and she will always find a way to interject humor and joy no matter what she's no matter how serious the topic no matter what she's telling you and so we really wanted to make sure that the film you know had her voice and her style as much as possible and so we were really just following her example Patrice was it nerve-wracking to share this much of your life now with the world and and of your personal life because there's some really poignant moments uh like when you and your friend are sifting through uh to find aluminum cans to try to get some money together so that you can pay for repairs on your wheelchair accessible van um I mean we see so much of your life in this why was it important for you to allow the cameras to see all of it because I wanted people to see how real people with disabilities have to struggle because a lot of folks still don't understand what disabled people go through on a daily basis or they think that there's something that you could be doing but you're not putting the effort into it yeah and it's clear that both you and Gary your boyfriend um are putting a ton of effort into it was there Ted an outcome or a goal that you had in mind I know we've seen some responses from the Social Security Administration already that you know it's really up to Congress to change these rules but what was your intent going into this well uh at the very least we just wanted to shine a light on just the systemic failings um that disabled people in this country have to battle against every single day and just about every aspect of their lives um but we also just really are hopeful that if we can bring attention to these issues that change can happen because uh a lot of The Advocates um who've been working on these issues for many years and trying to change the laws keep telling us that the biggest barrier they run into is just simply like it's not a priority you know marriage equality for the disabled is not a priority raising asset limits for disabled people is not a priority but there is legislation that has been written and has been sitting around and just waiting for a vote and so if we can use this story and this platform to just get the conversation out there and bring attention to this issue we're really hopeful that change can actually happen and happen soon yeah because Patrice it's not even just that your benefits would be cut if you if you get married you also have limits just on how much you can keep in your bank account to just a couple thousand dollar um you can't have your wedding and so you go to have a commitment ceremony as I mentioned your van breaks down and now you can't even have that it's like insult to injury it's so maddening to watch as a viewer I mean take me what through what that felt like in that moment um because you didn't give up despite all that I know that at that time for me it was very overwhelming and depressing and even to get a a newer a newer used um accessible van they go for as much as 50,000 65,000 I've seen a brand new one for as much as 82,000 and people with disabilities don't have that kind of money to pay for um things like this well it's medical equipment yeah but that's not the point and I don't know what they expect people like me to do when we're restricted from what we're allowed to uh have well I'll clarify people with disabilities the government doesn't allow them to have that type of money uh Patrice is there a message that you want folks to know um as they watch this documentary and I know that they will I I want folks to watch the movie and find out who your um legislators are and write a letter to get them to repeal the marriage penalty and to raise the asset limit to help people like myself be able to gain the level of Independence that we need so that also with the assets limits being way they are you still have to rely on fundraising and family members to help you and a lot of us we just we don't want a handout we just want a helping hand Patrice jedar Ted passon thank you so much uh your star is shining your friendship of course of 20 years seems uh only stronger now so thanks so much for sharing this beautiful work with us you're welcome thank you so much for having us 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